Have you ever felt so alone? Worthless, empty, with out a purpose in life? I know where you’re coming from. These past few weeks, I have felt nothing but sorrow, all the time. I would have a brief moment of happiness – hanging out with friends, acing a test, laughing with my family – but it would soon end. I thought I was just depressed, but I could feel something missing in my life. “But I am a Christian!” I’d tell myself. “I was saved as a child, I rededicated my life to Christ as 12, and at 14 I once again made sure I was saved.” Deep inside, I had a feeling that maybe, just maybe, I never was saved. Christians I know are so pumped up for God! They pray aloud without fear or shyness, the can’t get enough of reading God’s word, and they talk to Him/pray throughout the day. When I reflected back upon myself, I realized that I didn’t feel the same way. It took effort to remember to pray, talking to God (aloud? Never!) was awkward and unnatural, and if I did read my Bible it was a struggle to actually pay attention and not skip through.
I was explained some of these things to my best friend “S” the other day, and she called me to help me figure it out. She pointed out Romans 10:9-11, Romans 3:23, and Ephesians 2. I had thought becoming saved was just saying “God, I accept you into my heart. Please save me from my sins, thanks for dying on the cross.” But it’s so much more than that! My friend said saying those words means nothing, especially if it’s just head knowledge. Becoming a Christian is a change of heart, is proclaiming that God IS REAL, that Jesus really did DIE for my sins, that I may have eternal life. I had to really search within my heart: was I, indeed, not a Christian? I was so tired of being miserable all the time – of thinking I didn’t matter and had no purpose. But also, I was prideful. I’m not that bad of a sinner, I’m not like my siblings, coworkers, or people I know. It humbled me to know that I am not perfect (I knew that in my head, but it’s another thing to accept it with your heart).
As I began to search my heart, search my soul, I realized God was missing in my life. If I was really saved, swearing, speeding, texting and driving, and my attitude towards my schoolwork would all break my heart for knowing I was being disobedient to God. That night, as I sat in my bed trying to figure out what to say, I turned to Romans 10:9, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.” By this time I had slid to the floor, taking it all in. I needed Jesus in my life – He is the only thing that can bring me everlasting peace, assurance of Salvation, and the means to survive each day. I prayed to God, and for the first time it felt natural. I asked Him to forgive me for all the sins I’ve committed against Him, I confessed that HE is LORD, that He is the God who saves – that He is more real than anything in this Matrix of a world. I confessed that Jesus did die for MY sins, that I was in need of being saved from eternity in hell. As I continued to pray, I felt a “peace which surpasses all understanding” drape over me.
I knew I had a purpose in life. I knew that God loved me, more than any man could understand, and I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that God will never leave me or forsake me and I will spend eternity with Him. He didn’t promise life would be smooth-sailing, as even as I write this testimony I am being tested by the things around me. But please know, that if you feel worthless, purposeless, or are heartbroken by the world around you, there is a solution. And God, is the only One who can bring you peace and hope for the future, Jeremiah 29:11.
I was explained some of these things to my best friend “S” the other day, and she called me to help me figure it out. She pointed out Romans 10:9-11, Romans 3:23, and Ephesians 2. I had thought becoming saved was just saying “God, I accept you into my heart. Please save me from my sins, thanks for dying on the cross.” But it’s so much more than that! My friend said saying those words means nothing, especially if it’s just head knowledge. Becoming a Christian is a change of heart, is proclaiming that God IS REAL, that Jesus really did DIE for my sins, that I may have eternal life. I had to really search within my heart: was I, indeed, not a Christian? I was so tired of being miserable all the time – of thinking I didn’t matter and had no purpose. But also, I was prideful. I’m not that bad of a sinner, I’m not like my siblings, coworkers, or people I know. It humbled me to know that I am not perfect (I knew that in my head, but it’s another thing to accept it with your heart).
As I began to search my heart, search my soul, I realized God was missing in my life. If I was really saved, swearing, speeding, texting and driving, and my attitude towards my schoolwork would all break my heart for knowing I was being disobedient to God. That night, as I sat in my bed trying to figure out what to say, I turned to Romans 10:9, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.” By this time I had slid to the floor, taking it all in. I needed Jesus in my life – He is the only thing that can bring me everlasting peace, assurance of Salvation, and the means to survive each day. I prayed to God, and for the first time it felt natural. I asked Him to forgive me for all the sins I’ve committed against Him, I confessed that HE is LORD, that He is the God who saves – that He is more real than anything in this Matrix of a world. I confessed that Jesus did die for MY sins, that I was in need of being saved from eternity in hell. As I continued to pray, I felt a “peace which surpasses all understanding” drape over me.
I knew I had a purpose in life. I knew that God loved me, more than any man could understand, and I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that God will never leave me or forsake me and I will spend eternity with Him. He didn’t promise life would be smooth-sailing, as even as I write this testimony I am being tested by the things around me. But please know, that if you feel worthless, purposeless, or are heartbroken by the world around you, there is a solution. And God, is the only One who can bring you peace and hope for the future, Jeremiah 29:11.
I know I'm not the only one who has benefited from reading this. The way that God has worked in her life has been amazing to hear about. If you have a story, that may be similar or not, that you want to share about your walk with christ, contact me at robertwegner1433@gmail.com
Thanks again, Jenny - Forsake All
No comments:
Post a Comment